If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
