Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
