I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
