I hate your face
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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