Kiss
Puke
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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