Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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