His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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