Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize