Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
