i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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