glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize