just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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