I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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