Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
