I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
