YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
