just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
