So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
