My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
