Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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