I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
