I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
