I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
