AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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