Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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