my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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