it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You took a bar mat shot.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
