that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
