I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
