can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
