I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
