Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
