i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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