never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
be right there i have to get my cape
Randomize
