Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
