As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
