Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
it's like iHOP with fire
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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