Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
