my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
