how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
