No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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