We're facebook friends in real life
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
