I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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