But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
