i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
