margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
