i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
