how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
