Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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