i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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