I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
