Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I need to align my fucking chakras
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
