I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
