I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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