That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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