as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
