I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
