dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
one might say we're banned from that church
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
