who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
