did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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