True but thats because hes a fetus.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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