so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm getting married
To pizza
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
