You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
